Telephone
by p0l-anka
Summary: A story of how Hibari Kyouya's normal life twisted upside-down because of a telephone call, with a certain herbivore on the other line. Seems like some random cupid were drunk while doing it's duty. AU. 1827.


_ENTITLED 'TELEPHONE'_

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**DISCLAIMER: **I _own everything_, excluding the characters.

**GENRE: **Yaoi. Romance. Humor. Slice of life. Drama.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **

**WARNING:**

_**THIS STORY IS **__A WORK OF FICTION__**, ANY RESEMBLANCE TO ACTUAL EVENTS, PLACE OR PERSON, LIVING OR DEAD, IS ENTIRELY CONINCIDENTAL.**_

_**IT WAS WRITTEN UNDER THE CATEGORY **__AU, __OOC-NESS__** (**__OUT-OF-CHARACTER__**) IS TO BE EXPECTED FOR THE KHR CHARACTERS USED IN THIS STORY.**_

_**BE ALSO AWARETHAT THERE MIGHT BE SWEARING AND MENTION OF SEX.**_

_**THIS IS YAOI. IF YOU ARE SOMEHOW UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THIS GENRE, I'M SURE YOU ARE FREELY CAPABLE OF CLICKING THE BACK BUTTON. I DON'T NEED SOMEONE'S BASHING JUST BECAUSE OF BEING CREEPED OUT BY TWO MEN BEING ENGAGED WITH ONE ANOTHER.**_

_**UN-BETA'ED. IF YOU SEE SOMETHING WRONG, LIKE IN GRAMMAR, KINDLY PM ME. ENGLISH IS NOT MY NATIVE LANGUAGE.**_

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**"Vulgarity is no substitute for wit."**

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It was the start of summer. The sun was high, its bright rays giving warmth in the early morning of Namimori. The birds were flying and singing along the wind, giving cool caresses on the faces of playing kids. Lucky for them, it was the first day of school vacation too.

But not for someone.

Sawada Tsunayoshi or Tsuna for short, slowly dragged his travelling bag roughly on the ground, cursing the hot sun above. He glared at the sky, muttering another string of inaudible curse when he accidentally looked at the direction of the sun. He blinked repeatedly, momentarily blind. He was so thirsty and damn hungry— and here he was, lost in the middle of God knows where. Well, he was still in Namimori, but still lost nonetheless. Seems like some unknown Holy Deity wanted to play on that day and mock him, for him to be lost in such a small city. If only he could take a cab, but someone had stole his wallet. A pickpocket to be exact.

"Just kill me already." He murmured, bending a little to massage his sore legs. He was starting to feel dizzy from hunger and lack of sleep. He has been awake for nearly a day now, thanks to his sadistic tutor who had kicked him out of bed just to drag him to the airport, telling him that Maman had called last night and were excited to see him home. But the flight has been rough, the plane even made some emergency landing on God knows what airport because of technical error. He had tried asking some of the airport's crew, but all he got was a look that silently says it-was-none-of-your-business-honestly, before the worn out _'There was a technical error, sir. We are truly sorry for the inconvenience'_ reply.

He slowly pulled himself at the sidewalk, ignoring how his stomach rumbled in protests, screaming raucously for food. He leaned at the nearest column of some unknown building, before sliding against it to sit on the ground when his knees gave out. He clutched his travelling bag near him, afraid that someone might stole it too. His stomach gave another loud growl.

"You cannot sleep there. It's against the law." A deep baritone voice suddenly spoke up, making him look up. It was a tall, handsome foreigner. Well, all foreigners were tall, aren't they? He tilted his head. But didn't the foreigner just spoke in Japanese fluently? What a weird guy. His hair was a mix between a striking platinum and blonde. He was even wearing a uniform of a Japanese police.

"Hi." Tsuna greeted the man, not even noticing that he was speaking in Italian instead of Japanese due to too much hunger and tiredness.

Alaude blink, noticing that the kid had suddenly spoke in Italian after a minute of looking at him in daze. Is he on drugs?

"I-Im sorry, Mr. Police Officer but could you please help me? I'm afraid I'm lost." Tsuna continued to talk, still in Italian, as he tries to stand up. He actually did manage to stand up, but his knees were shaking terribly. He clicked his tongue, staggering. Wait, his vision had suddenly went hazy—

Alaude quickly caught the kid who just fainted. A Japanese herbivore who speaks in Italian. He shifted the boy in his arms, remembering the peculiar amber eyes. How unusual, maybe he was half-Japanese? The herbivore was lucky that he had understood everything he had said. He was, after all, a pure Italian.

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"I can't believe someone could really faint due to hunger." Alaude commented, watching in amusement on how the brunet wolf down all the food like there was no tomorrow. The kid was on his fourth bowl of rice. He immediately pushed a glass of water when the herbivore suddenly stiffened, before coughing, turning red. The brunet had choked on his food. Good gracious.

"T-thank you, Mr. Police Officer." The brunet said, amber eyes brimming with tears.

"Alaude. Just call me Alaude." He corrected, not liking the idea of someone calling him Mr. Police Officer repeatedly.

"A-Alaude-san, then." The boy murmured, flushing furiously, suddenly embarrassed when he remembered all the trouble he had cause him.

"You said someone had stole your wallet." Alaude said, suddenly business-like, thinking that it was now okay to interrogate the boy now that he looks healthy again, unlike before he fainted. "Where did it happened and what time? Describe the thief's face."

He frowned when the boy started to fidget, the blush on his face suddenly spreading up to his neck and ears. "I-I'm sorry." The boy mumbled, biting his lips. "I really didn't noticed…" He trailed off, looking down on his lap.

Alaude stayed silent, letting the information sink in his brain. "I see, a pickpocket then." He said, scribbling on his notes. "I assume you came from Italy?" He stated, noticing that the boy had suddenly looked at him, his amber eyes growing wide.

"H-how did you know?" Tsuna asked, his hand immediately landing on his back pocket to check his passport, before remembering that it was in the wallet too. He put back his hand on his lap, feeling depressed.

"You were speaking in Italian before you fainted. You probably didn't noticed due to your hunger." Alaude filled in. "Your name?"

"I see…" Tsuna mumbled, trying to recall on what happened before he fainted but to no avail. "It's Sawada Tsunayoshi, Sir."

"Sawada?" Alaude asked, surprised, his hand stilling over his notes.

"Um, yes? My name is Sawada Tsunayoshi." Tsuna repeated, wondering on why Alaude had looked at him in surprised.

"Do you know someone under the name of Sawada Nana?" Alaude asked, his voice indifferent again.

"You knew my mom?!" Tsuna blurted out. Alaude looked up from his notes, suddenly realizing on why the boy had looked so familiar.

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"Tsu-kun!" Nana squealed before engaging the boy in a bear hug. Alaude watched in amusement as the boy blush furiously at his mother's antics, before trying to struggle out of her arms.

"Mom! Stop it!" Tsuna gasped in mortification, fully aware that Alaude-san was watching them. It was so embarrassing that he was wishing for the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

"Alaude-san! Thank you, for bringing my baby Tsu-kun home." Nana said, clapping her hand as she ignored her son's protests at her choice of endearment. "I got so worried when he didn't arrived on time."

"You are most welcome, Nana-san." Alaude replied, already used with his neighbor's over enthusiasm.

"How about you join us for dinner? Call your lovely wife and your son to come over too." Nana asked, hugging her son again who immediately went stiff at the contact, blushing and murmuring.

"That sounds great, however, I think my wife is already doing dinner, if I will base from the smoke coming to our house." Alaude bowed his head slightly, turning down Nana's offer gently.

"Oh… I see, maybe next time then. Tsu-kun, what will you say to Alaude-san?" Nana said sternly, turning Tsuna towards Alaude like a five year old.

"T-thank you, Alaude-san, and sorry if ever I bothered you from your work." Tsuna said, bowing his head, feeling more self-conscious at his Mom's treatment.

"You're welcome. I'll be going now. Tsunayoshi-kun, if you have any problem, just give me a call. I live next door, the one with the mini grocery." Alaude said, pointing at a two-storey house a few meters away from their block.

"Y-you're our neighbor?" Tsuna asked, startled at the new information.

"Yes. I'll be going now. Good night." Alaude waved a final goodbye, before entering his car. Tsuna watched as he slowly park at the house that he had pointed.

"Now, I know you're tired and hungry. Come on in. I've cooked your favorites." Nana smiled, taking his hand, making Tsuna smile. He sure had missed his mom.

* * *

Tsuna woke up suddenly from his deep slumber, his breathing ragged. He gasped for a few more seconds before the realization that Reborn's cruel detention to him for losing his wallet has all been a dream. A nightmare. He sat up on his bed, cold dread washing over him after realizing of what Reborn might really do once he had learn that he got duped the moment he had set his foot on Namimori. The walking devil might kill him— probably calling him _'idiot student'_ before doing his evil deed.

He shuddered, suddenly praying for the entire God to save his ass.

He got up from his bed, quickly dressing up before going into the bathroom to brush his teeth.

"Good morning, Mom." Tsuna greeted out as he entered the kitchen. His mom greeted him back, a smile curving her lips. "How about I help you?" He asked, moving towards the kitchen counter, he picked up the spatula as he took a peek inside the wok. The mouth-watering aroma of omelet met his nostrils. He really missed his mom.

"Tsu-kun." Nana said in a stern voice. "Don't be a hard-headed boy. You go there and sit down, I'm going to serve breakfast on a moment." She said, pushing her baby boy back in the dining table.

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Tsuna sat lazily on the dining chair, eating his food unconsciously as his mind wander. His mom's birthday is now nearing and he still didn't have any clue on what to give her. He had already thought of bag, clothes, jewelry, even shoes. However, he was dead sure his dad will give his mom another bunch of the said gifts, like what he does every year, since his father is a hopeless lover of a husband. His mind even had a sudden image of how his dad would squeal 'Nana my love!' as he kneels on the ground, bestowing his arms that were full of gifts.

He wobbled on his seat, still not used even though he sees it every year.

He rested his chin on his palm as his other hand plays with his chopsticks. What should he give then? Geez, this is so frustrating. A personalized gift? Nah, he was sure he will just make a mess before he could even do it. A card? Hn… scratch that. Food? A hat— wait, his mom doesn't even wear hats. What about food like a cake? Oh, he shook his head, his dad probably had it in the to-order-lists already. Then what! He groaned, pulling his hair. His dad probably had all the things in the world, that stupid father. Fine, he would settle for personalized gift then, but what?

His amber eyes went glazed as he look on his food. Oh.

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Tsuna immediately resigned in his room after his short lunch. He grabbed his travelling bag, before pulling his laptop out. He gingerly laid it in his study table, sitting on the floor as he do so. He was humming as he waited for it to boot up. What kind of food should he cook for his mom? Japanese? Nah. His mom probably already knew all kind of Japanese dish. He bit his lips, would Italian food do fine? He pondered for a few more moments, before nodding his head. Italian it is then.

He immediately worked in the search engine the minute the screen turned on. He typed _'Italian food'_. Moments later, Tsuna were already cursing and pulling his hair, frustrated and confused over his wits.

He saw an interesting photo of an authentic-looking Italian dish called 'Mediterranean Orzo Salad with Feta Vinaigrette'. He clicked the link for the ingredients, and the first thing on the list is one cup of uncooked orzo. What on earth is an orzo? Do they even sell it on Japan? It looks like it was some kind of rice, but is it really just rice?

Oh, well. Whatever. He took a pen and paper, writing down one cup of uncooked orzo. Next in the list is two cups of prewashed baby spinach— he wrote this with no hesitation, since spinach is easy to find. Then next is three-fourth cup of feta cheese…? His hand slowly stilled on the paper. Feta cheese? His hand rested on the middle of the paper before closing it into a fist, crumpling the paper in the process. He threw it on the ground, where it joined his earlier attempt of jotting down recipes. He was feeling tired, isn't there any Italian dish that has basic to simple ingredients?

He went back on the search bar, changing his search content from _'Italian pasta'_ to _'Easy Italian Recipe'_. He hit the enter key and a new batch of links pops out. He click the first link 'Creamy Light Macaroni Cheese Pasta', whistling as he waits for the page to load. Everyone could make macaroni cheese right?

His swelling hope had immediately deflated at the first ingredient on the list— three cups of cubed peeled butternut squash. He glared at the laptop screen, unconsciously knowing that he was now making a funny expression that could make Nana squeal and grab a camera. W-what the hell is a butternut squash? A new specie of pumpkin?

"Arrggggh!" He yelled, pulling his hair before banging his forehead on the table, which he had immediately regretted.

That hurts like hell.

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Hibari Kyouya was pissed— NO. To say that he was pissed is an understatement. He was fuming. Angry like Hulk. Irritated to the point that he was seeing red. Why?

Because some unknown herbivore who has lots and lots _and lots_ of guts has been calling on their mini grocery, asking for random ingredients. The caller had started from feta cheese to olive oil to asparagus and even chicken broth. Chicken broth! For goodness sake! Everyone knows how to make a chicken broth! He even knew the damn thing when he was five year old, yet, the idiotic, irritating herbivore asked if they sell chicken broth.

He closed his eyes, breathing deeply, trying to see if meditation would ease his anger when the telephone rang again.

He ignored it.

His tense shoulders visibly relaxed when the bloody telephone died on the third ring. He closed his eyes again, continuing his deep breathing. Lucky for him, he had forgotten his anger after a successful ten minutes of meditation. He walked around their shop, broom and dustpan on hand, thanking his dear father for teaching him the art of meditation.

He was just starting to sweep invisible dust off the floor when the telephone rang again. He straightened up, glaring at the innocent machine. His anger was back in full force, heck, it was worse than before. Maybe it would do him good if he just ignored it, even pulling the thing out of its cable. He looked at the broom in his hand, but what if it was his father who was calling now? He clicked his tongue, marching towards the telephone.

"Hibari." He growled through his nose. If this was that annoying caller—

"Um, yes. Hello. Good afternoon?" His jaw clenched. It was that irritating, annoying, son of a— "Do you have some chilliantroes?"

"A what?" He barked, his trail of thoughts halting.

"Err… I mean ci-cilliantros?" The caller asked in an unsure voice.

"Do you mean cilantro?" He asked, pronouncing the word like it was some kind of dirt in his mouth.

"Ah, yes! That one! Do you have that?" The caller chirped happily, making his eyebrows to become a one line.

"Yes. We have." He said. "Your name." He spat, voice full of venom."

"Oh, sorry. It's Sawada Tsunayoshi. Thank you, mister." The caller replied, completely oblivious on his tone. Maybe the herbivore was just an idiot?

"I see." He said, slamming the handset to the receiver hard, cursing the unanimated object to the pits of hell. He pulled a small notebook from his back pocket, scribbling the name on it as he walks around the counter to have his not-so-warm-anymore tea. His steel grey eyes fixed on the notebook. Sawada Tsunayoshi, eh? Sawada? He bit the edge of his cup, isn't their neighbor named Sawada? But that entire household resides is a woman named nana, unless she do have a family?

He frowned, looking at the name he had wrote on his notebook— Tsunayoshi. Is it a girl or a guy? And the voice of the caller herbivore doesn't help either. It sounds so… sexless, if such a word does exist.

He hummed, his hand going into his secret pocket, before pulling out a small, rectangular steel with a black handle. He flicked it up, revealing its true form— a collapsible metal tonfa. A gift his father gave him at his seventh birthday. He swung it once in the air, pride swelling in his chest at the sound it had made, his steel grey eyes shining a predatory look. Should he used it against the new resident? Maybe even warn the herbivore or a two. The herbivore had pissed him after all, annoyed him even at the middle of his work.

And no one, especially in Namimori, has the right to annoy him. He was, in spite of everything, the president of the disciplinary committee.

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**TO BE CONTINUED.**

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Good? Bad?

How was the story?

MIND SHARING YOU THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS BY REVIEWING?

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**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

Hello everyone. Here's another story, brought to you by me. Sorry if you were expecting my update to be my other story "NOTEBOOK", but I really have to get this out of my mind, unless you want me to get crazy because it just won't die in my thoughts. This one has no ending yet. And I had plan for this one to be just a one-shot, but oh well. I guess it just didn't work out, since I didn't expect this to be so long. Soooo, do you want me to continue this? Or I'd rather not?

There were some parts on this that were based on a true story, mainly, something that had happened on me on real, but I won't tell it. You can guess though. And if there was a chance that you were wondering regarding on the Italian dishes that I had included here, yes, all of it were in google.

Happy reading.

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**The author is NOT ACCEPTING for any offer of translating this story, if you have, readers, accidentally stumbled on any SITE, BLOG, or ANOTHER AUTHOR'S FICTION ACCOUNT, with the same story, WHETHER TRANSLATED INTO ANOTHER LANGUAGE OR NOT, ON ANY FORM POSSIBLE. Kindly report the incident to me, and I will take an immediate action. I DO NOT ACCEPT PLAGIARIZERS WITH A KIND HEART, and language barrier is not an issue with me. Thank you.**


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